Tingly skin, a quick beating heart, sweaty palms, occasionally forgetting to breath out.
The memories of these feelings come flooding back to me as I think about where I’ll be in less than 24 hours; running back into my boy’s arms where I belong. And this time, it’s to stay. We’ve been guessing our way through unknown territory all year as a long distance couple, and finally we are about to say goodbye to ‘goodbye’s’. One month together in Seattle (my very first white christmas!) and then jetting off back to sydney to embark on new adventures, accept new challenges, and create new dreams as we step into a brand new year, together.
The feeling of seeing Shawn for the first time after weeks, or months, apart requires a whole new vocabulary of words. I fidget in my seat the entire flight, not able to sleep. I pick at my food and stare at the screen that shows my exact location over the globe. I’ll usually stare at that screen, watching the little plane move closer to where my heart is inch by inch, for the last three hours of the flight. My brain does not, and will not, focus on anything else. Once I see him I feel as though my legs might give way, my knees may buckle or my heart might simply stop. But I force my feet to move and my lungs to do their job as I get closer and closer to the person who makes me the happiest. Falling into his embrace is a whole new realm of contentment. I breathe in his scent and take mental notes as to exactly how I feel in that moment.
For the first few days it’s as if I’m dreaming. I constantly study the details of his face to awaken myself to the fact that I couldn’t possibly recreate this in my mind. He’s real, and he’s mine.
Each time we reunite it’s like a first date all over again. The feeling of excitement and nerves rush through my entire body. I sit here and let my mind wander through the possible airport scenario I will be apart of tomorrow and my heart does a double beat. This kind of love is like a fire, it ignites every inch of me and I can only thank God as much as my voice will allow for blessing me with his most magnificent creation.
Photo by: Jeff Kane